Clearly, I failed as a blogger. The summer was so intense that I could only concentrate on one thing, finishing. When August came, all I could do was sleep and spend time with my family, I barely opened my computer. I’m back in school for the fall and its busy again, but more stable, so hopefully that will mean more time to do things like blog. Here is a small insight into the insanity that was this summer.
Downward facing dog. Constricted breathing, heart racing. Plank. Panic setting in its difficult to focus. Chaturanga. I want to scream, throw things & cry uncontrollably. Upward facing dog. Maybe this was all a mistake, what am I doing here. Downward facing dog. I don’t belong here, why did I do this. Jump forward. My heart hurts. Look up. The world is spinning. Fold forward. Hold on to my legs so tight that it hurts. Stand up straight. Tell yourself you can control this panic attack. Hands in front of the heart. Silent prayer, “please let me get through this.” Fold forward. Panic again. Look up. Uncontrolled fear. Fold forward. Hold on to my legs for dear life. Jump back into chatarunga. Adrenaline serge. Upward facing dog. Anger. Downward facing dog. Tears. Right leg up. Focus. Right leg forward, warrior one. Did I make the wrong decision? Chaturanga. Should I drop out, go back home? Upward facing dog. How do I control this? Downward facing dog. Harder to breath. Left leg up. Fuck this. Left leg forward, warrior one. I hate this. Chaturanga. Let go, damn it, just let go. Upward facing dog. Breath. Downward facing dog. Breath! Jump forward. Relax. Look up. Fold forward. Buyers remorse is a common affliction. Stand up. Loose form, look blankely at the horizon. Fold your hands in prayer in front the heart. Silent prayer, “Please let me get through this, I can do this.”